The Story: How Contented Motherhood Was Birthed

The seeds for Contented Motherhood were planted all the way back in 2016 when I started on my first budget, a.k.a. my first experience of really feeling the pinch.  My husband and I structured our less than average salaries to pay off $60,000 of student loans in two years. It was the first time I realized the joys that can be found even when we “lack.” Fast forward to 2023. By this time our frugal ways had carried us through having three kids, buying a house, and making several job transitions – including me leaving my teaching position and starting life as a single-income household. My husband was working in commercial real estate, and we were doing everything we could to prepare for his September transition to full-time commission without a base salary. However, earlier in 2023 we’d taken a long-awaited trip down to Costa Rica to visit Brandon’s parents. I’d been there before on several occasions, but a couple experiences that time around were like a knife to my heart as I saw into the perspectives of people there.  They were fully content and extraordinarily happy in spaces and situations most people in the States would grumble about. Driving back through Dallas, my breath was taken away by the amount of shopping malls, massive apartment structures, and mansion-sized homes. The vast excess sickened me. I kept hearing the voices of people in Costa Rica, “This space is lovely, isn’t it?” “We are blessed to have this!” I vowed to grumble less and give thanks more as we returned home to our two-car garage and 1,200 sq ft. house. 

Little did I know that the knife-to-the-heart moment early in the year would be an anchor of sorts to cling to in the coming year. My husband’s job would not go as planned, and the market would reach the worst point in decades right as the contracted time for his base salary ended. We would go without a paycheck for 8 months with three little kids ages 4, 2, and 1. Furthermore, medical expenses from trips to urgent care, specialists, and doctors’ offices would pile up as we were plagued with varying illnesses, one being a nasty round of strep that began the day before Christmas and wouldn’t clear. I ended up on three rounds of antibiotics that lasted well into February. This ultimately resulted in an uncommon thyroid condition that, while temporary, was acute in the immediate. I found myself on bed rest, for lack of a better term, dealing with a slew of symptoms that rendered me basically useless for the entire month of March. Both sides of our family had to come into town to help keep our little sinking ship afloat. Were our lives falling apart? Had God forgotten about our little family of 5 in Tulsa, Oklahoma?

Unbeknownst to me, when that final paycheck was received in September, it would represent the tipping point of God doing something profound in my heart and life. I would eventually recover from my thyroid illness although it took several months, but I wouldn’t recover as the same person. Around the time my recovery began to level out, my husband would FINALLY have a small sale come through, enough for us to continue to get by. Some sweet rain of relief had come; some of the pressure of life was slightly releasing.  Oddly, I realized my sighs of relief had begun weeks prior when I had started to see my life more clearly. My responsibilities around the house suddenly felt like more of a privilege than a burden. My kids were bringing more joy to my life than irritation. My small little house seemed perfect for us, and it had been weeks since I searched Zillow looking for a better home. Our two old cars, each with 200,000+ miles, were just right for getting around – in fact, I kind of liked them. My frantic rushing to get tasks done had leveled to a calmer, easy-going pace with long deep breaths of enjoyment throughout. What had happened to me? What had shifted? I wasn’t the same. 

It took a couple weeks of pondering to realize that the profound, wonderful feeling was peace. Contentment had been found exactly where I was, in this small house, with these kids, and this husband, and those cars, and these responsibilities. I was beginning to see how unfathomably good God had been to us in difficulty and how unfathomably good He is to us every day. It was the humbling reality of realizing how much I had taken for granted, how much I had been given and never thought to give thanks for, and how much I had decided that the position the Lord had placed me in wasn’t good enough. The Lord in His goodness had lit up my life to show me how wonderfully expansive and beautiful and rich my life was right now, exactly where He had me. I was content. I was at peace, in a small house, with old cars, not enough money in the bank, and three kids aged 4 and under. It felt wonderful! 

My heart behind Contented Motherhood starts here: believing that whatever position we find ourselves in, the rich gifts of God’s grace, mercy, provision, and goodness can be sought after, unearthed, and treasured in our lives. I pray that the sharing of my life to whatever extent God leads would begin to shine a light that reveals just how rich and vibrant life is for all of us, regardless of our circumstances. I want us to see and recognize that God’s perfect hand of provision is present with us today rather than tomorrow. I want us to realize that even in hard seasons, there are beautiful moments of grace. I want us to see the joys of not having all the world says we need so we can say “yes” more fully to all God wants to do with our lives right now. I want us to see that rhythms and organization in our home is a vehicle for spending more time on what truly matters and not a means to perfection. I want us to see, in a culture seeking ways to be victims and always wanting more, that thanksgiving can be a rallying cry that swings wide the gates to peace. 

So that’s it. It is my hope that every post on this blog stands as a spotlight revealing the beauty God has given us right where we are.  May the glimpses into the vulnerable moments where God is transforming me serve as gateways to understanding He wants to continue to do the same in each of us. 

Will you join me? Join me in seeking the good right where we are. Join me in unearthing beautiful grace in hard situations. Join me in watching life light up with color. Join me in celebrating. Join me in thanksgiving. Join me in peace. Join me in Contented Motherhood.

Below: Waiting for our flight to Costa Rica in March of '23. Our Honda Accord getting all five of us and our things to Dallas for a two-week international trip. Common homes in Costa Rica. Sick as a dog in March '24 with no energy for anything and losing so much weight. First family outing after being sick... Easter of '24. Back at it with a new perspective!